Button Up Mr Deeks
by Sweet Lu
Summary: Deeks has decided that it would be for the best if he went back to the LAPD after he and Kensi fail to make things work as partners and lovers. The story involves the whole team. This story was originally written for wikiDeeks.


**Button Up Mr. Deeks**

...

She stood in front of him holding the neatly folded black leather jacket, her top hand patting it gently before she looked up at him. She had a slight enigmatic smile on her face and he thought he saw a glint of tears in her eyes, but dismissed it as wishful thinking on his part. He had always joked that he was her favorite, but she had never acknowledged that it was so, and after the last few months he had become convinced otherwise. He stared down at the leather jacket as she held it out to him, but he frowned and hesitated to accept it, raising his hand to briefly touch the hair at the back of his neck.

"Take it, Mr. Deeks," she encouraged. "It's cold out there."

"Where have I heard that before," he said rather unkindly.

"You've earned it Mr. Deeks," she replied, ignoring his comment. "I hope it will remind you that you still have a home here when and if you change your mind."

"That's not going to happen, Hetty."

"No, I suppose not," she said, pressing the jacket into his hands. "But, we'll see."

"Thank you," he finally said with a fleeting grin. "It's the best thing for everyone, Hetty."

"Is it?"

"You disagree," he stated flatly.

"I just didn't think you would give up this easily," she said softly.

"That's not fair, Hetty," suddenly on the defensive.

"Neither is life, unless you fight for those you hold dear," saying it without malice as she reached out and squeezed his hand.

She smiled sadly and then turned and walked away, leaving him slightly angry at her accusation. He looked down, realizing he had been stroking the soft black leather of the jacket and that pissed him off even more. He thought it an oddly appropriate parting gift, one that hinted at his past and his future at the same time. It was expensive, making him smile at the thought that it would make Max Gentry look as if he was coming up in the world.

"Oxymoron," he whispered to himself.

He sighed deeply, knowing what came next and finally turned to face the bullpen and the consequences of his actions. He saw Callen look at him, his eyes smoldering with the anger that had confronted him the day he'd told him he was going back to the LAPD. The senior agent's mouth twisted into the tell that let him know this would not be an easy goodbye.

"Callen," he said as he approached.

The man said nothing. Did not offer a hand to shake or a hint that he wanted a parting hug. He simply gave him a disappointed and angry look and walked right past him. The emptiness he felt hurt, but maybe he had been expecting too much. Maybe it was a sign the man didn't want him to leave, but then again, maybe not. He had never really known where they stood in their stilted relationship. Not really friends, but he'd always thought Callen respected his abilities even though he always seemed annoyed by his attempts at humor. He wasn't expecting a cheery send off, but he hadn't expected the man to be rude either.

"Hey Deeks," Sam said, wrapping an arm around his neck and pulling him into a hug. "G's not happy about this."

"Really? What gave it away?" he said bitterly.

"He doesn't like change," Sam said. "Plus, you surprised him. He didn't see this coming and to be honest, neither did I. You're part of the team, man. You could have made it work."

He didn't know what to say to that, so he shook his head and went over to his desk to get his box of things. Not much to show for his four years, but his head was filled with memories he wouldn't easily forget and he was okay with that. He was surprised at the emotion he felt when he lifted the light box, causing him to glance up at the small one he had placed on the top of the cabinet all those months ago. It remained taped shut and would probably be thrown out at some point in time. No reason to open it now. It was all in the past and he was done with it.

"Hey," Kensi said as she stopped abruptly by the coffee pot, looking embarrassed. "Thought you were already gone."

"On my way," he said softly, unwilling to look at her for too long.

"Take care," she said, her eyes bright as she walked quickly toward the firing range.

"This is wrong, Deeks," Sam said.

"I tried," he said, fighting down the lump in his throat. "We tried. It didn't work. It's too hard, Sam."

"Who the hell said it would be easy?" He said, trying one last time to change his mind. "You love her. She loves you."

"Right," he said. "That's why it's so hard. That's why I have to leave."

"Okay, for now," the big man said quietly with a gentle smile that caused tears to cloud his eyes.

"Let it go, man. Just let me go," Deeks said.

Sam nodded, squeezed his shoulder and left him standing in the bullpen alone, his throat constricted with unwanted emotions. He clutched his box of mementos and took one last look around, and walked down the long hallway, the sound of gunfire from the shooting range following him out the door.

...

She felt her annoyance growing as she watched her partner of six months patiently trying to explain to Hetty and Callen what he had tried to do that morning. She had refused to be in the meeting, knowing she might just punch the guy if she got too close to him. He had come so close to blowing their cover she had actually steeled herself to being shot. If Callen hadn't walked into the meet and told her partner to shut up and then taken over, the whole operation might have been blown. Sam had calmly talked her down over the comms as the meet went sideways, and it was his steady confidence that kept her from pulling her weapon. If she had, she might not be standing next to her desk devouring a disgusting energy bar her partner had brought her that morning. Who the hell eats this garbage unless they have to, she wondered.

"Jensen still trying to cover his ass?" Sam asked as he came in, the pissed off look on his face not having changed since they'd all managed to walk away unscathed.

"How can a guy who looks so squared away become a blithering idiot in the space of two minutes?" She sputtered, the words rushing out as she swallowed the last bite of the energy bar. "I don't think he had any idea what he was saying. He was a nervous wreck in there, Sam. Why would Hetty put me with someone like that?"

"Because you refused to talk to the last partner she gave you," he laughed. "This guy was a Marine. A decorated Marine. She knows you like Marines."

"Well, I don't like this one," she said. "Deeks would have picked up on what was happening today and spun out a story to ease that guy's mind in two seconds."

"Yeah, well, Jensen ain't Deeks," Sam said.

"No he isn't," she answered softly as her latest partner walked toward her.

When she'd first been introduced to Joshua Jensen, she had been taken by his good looks and impressive physique. He was a big, strong man, an excellent shot and had good language skills, but with a hint of condescension toward those he didn't think measured up to his own abilities. Josh was somewhat arrogant and the minute she met him, she knew Deeks would have found all sorts of ways to make fun of him, but she had stopped herself from thinking that almost immediately, knowing it would only bring her pain.

"Hetty wants to talk to you," Jensen said with a touch of resentment. "You got my back, right partner?"

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"Back me up with the little boss lady," he answered. "Tell her I had everything under control, or would have if Callen hadn't barged in."

"Are you serious?" Sam roared. "Callen saved your ass today and Kensi's ass too. We don't lie about what happens during an op. We heard you over comms. You were digging such a deep hole with Salazar I didn't think G would be able to get you two out of it. I even had Eric call in a tactical squad."

"Enough gentlemen and Ms. Blye," Hetty said as she entered the bullpen. "We still have missing weapons to recover and you still need to find out who killed the previous undercover agent. Miss Blye. My office."

"It had to be Salazar," Jensen said quickly. "He's the logical one."

Hetty stared at him with utter contempt, freezing him with one icy stare before turning without a word and motioning for Kensi to follow.

"I would replace that man immediately if we weren't in the middle of a case," Hetty said when they reached her desk. "I apologize, Miss Blye. He's one of those people who looks good on paper, but falters when faced with the stark reality of this job. He came highly recommended, but that's no excuse. Mr. Callen and Sam will go in for the next round with Salazar. We know he's probably second in command, but hopefully after another, less tense meeting, we will discover the head of this dangerous little group and the name of their inside man."

"Are we off the case?" Kensi asked.

"No, but I can't in good conscience send you undercover with a man who has no talent for it," she answered. "You and Mr. Jensen will be on overwatch. After this operation, I will begin a search for his replacement."

"I'm sorry Hetty," she said. "I should have taken over. I might have been able to salvage it."

"Today was not your doing, Kensi," Hetty said. "You were used to working with Mr. Deeks, who could fly by the seat of his pants in those kinds of situations. Mr. Jensen's pants just seem to catch on fire whenever he tries to improvise."

Kensi laughed at that and made her way back to the bullpen, her mind recalling some of the funnier improvs her former partner had pulled during their years together. She felt her eyes water as she remembered him, totally ignoring her new partner as she headed for the firing range, once again needing to rid herself of unwanted thoughts that only brought back her longing and regret.

...

Salazar paced back and forth in front of the metal desk in the claustrophobic room near the loading dock of the trucking company that was his base of operations. He occasionally made a comment to whomever he was talking to on the phone, and Callen caught Sam's silent communication, both knowing instinctively that they were in trouble. The tension in the room grew as two more armed men entered and took up positions along the wall, joining the four men already crowding the room. Callen could hear Kensi and Jensen arguing over the comms about the situation, but it just irritated him, doing nothing to calm his heart or relieve the itch between his shoulder blades that told him he was in danger. Salazar had questioned him extensively when they'd arrived, wanting details about former deals and about who they had dealt with before, his questions and tone of voice setting off warning bells in his head. He glanced over at their confiscated weapons now lying on the desk, trying to calculate just how fast he could reach them if things deteriorated even further.

"My boss thinks you're lying," Salazar said as he held the phone to his chest. "He doesn't trust you and he can't reach the people who recommended you."

"Let me speak to him," Callen said in the thick Ukrainian accent he had adopted for this op. "My money is good, and my people need these weapons."

"He doesn't give a fuck about your people or your country," Salazar said harshly. "He thinks you might be playing him."

"Yuri Kulish does not lie," Callen said belligerently. "Tell him Terrell. We worked many deals together."

"My boss never heard of him either," Salazar said as he pulled a weapon and pointed it at Callen.

The sound of weapons being cocked sounded around the room, and Callen knew even if he got the safety word out, no one would be able to get to them fast enough to save them. He swallowed hard, preparing himself as Kensi shouted in his ear that they were on their way. He wanted to tell her not to bother, that she would be putting herself and her partner in danger, but he couldn't risk it, hoping he could talk his way out of the volatile situation.

"Who you gonna kill, Ricky?"

The familiar voice was deeper than he remembered and sounded completely uncaring as if asking about the weather, but there was no mistaking the black leather jacket and dirty blond hair of Max Gentry as he sauntered into the room. His beard was rough and he looked tired, his fingernails grimy with dirt and his hands nervously twitching as he came to a stop next to Ricky Salazar.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Max?" Salazar asked, but he began to smile as soon as he said it.

"Got bored," he said with barely a flicker of a smile, but it briefly softened the hardness of his face. "You working that deal you told me about?"

"Yeah, man," he answered. "But my boss thinks these guys might be cops."

"Yuri? A cop?" Max laughed coldly. "Terrell maybe, but definitely not Yuri Kulish."

Deeks walked up to Callen and hit him solidly in the mouth, knocking him back against the wall. Before Callen could react, he pressed his forearm against his throat and pressed his head back, watching him struggle for breath until Terrell took a step toward him.

"Back off, Terrell. You know he owes me an explanation," Max growled, his face just inches from Callen.

"I owe you nothing, Max Gentry," Callen choked out. "You left. Your choice."

"Never got what she saw in you," Max said as he shoved himself away, and turned to look at Sam.

"She's a one man woman, Max. You know that, brother," Terrell said. "And that man ain't Yuri."

"You know these guys?" Salazar looked stunned.

"Yeah, I know 'em," Max said as he sauntered over and took a drink from the bottle of whiskey on the desk. "Worked a couple of deals with these two down south. Yuri's a sleaze, but Terrell is solid and they both pay their debts. Just don't let Yuri near your girlfriend. Hard to believe, but he's a real charmer with the ladies."

Salazar said a few words into his cell and then closed it and walked over to shake hands with Yuri Kulish. They set up the buy for later in the week, this time with an appearance by his boss, Alejandro Munoz. Salazar promised high-grade military weapons and Yuri got his attention with a generous price offering. Before they left, Yuri turned to stare at Max, his eyes stormy and his jaw tight and Max glared back as he sat on the edge of the desk, dangling the whiskey bottle between his knees.

"Fern said to say hello if I ever saw you again," Yuri said. "I think she probably is missing you."

Max blinked hard at the words, his expression faltering and he quickly took a swig of whiskey to hide his emotions.

"This woman must be something," Salazar said with interest.

"Yeah, brother. You can say that," Max said, hopping off the desk and sauntering back out as nonchalantly as he'd come.

...

"What the hell was that?" Jensen asked Kensi when he got back in the car. "Who was that guy?"

Kensi didn't reply, just slammed the car into gear and followed Sam and Callen as they headed back to the mission. She didn't trust herself to say anything, but their comms were still in and she heard Sam laugh.

"That, my friend, was a win at the buzzer, a walk off home run and a winning Hail Mary pass in the final seconds of the game, all rolled into one," Sam said with a big sigh.

"How do you know him and what girl were you talking about?" Jensen asked. "Did you really steal his girl on some undercover op, Callen?"

"I would have remembered that," Callen replied softly.

"Then why did he say that?" Jensen asked, his voice more demanding than curious.

"It's none of your business, Mr. Jensen," Hetty cut in on comms. "Callen, Sam. Meet me in the boat shed. I've asked Lieutenant Bates to meet us there."

"What about us?" Jensen asked, sounding annoyed.

"Go home Mr. Jensen," Hetty ordered. "You too, Kensi. It's late. You can write your reports in the morning."

Bates was already at the boat shed with Hetty by the time Callen and Sam got there. He was not pleased to be there, and royally pissed when he found out their two undercover operations had crossed paths.

"Deeks has been working that group for five months," Bates said. "They've been putting guns on the street for over a year and Deeks is the first undercover to get close enough to make a case. Now you're claiming jurisdiction?"

"He looked exhausted," Callen said quietly to no one in particular.

"Apparently not too tired to save your ass," Bates snapped out.

"He wasn't supposed to be there tonight, was he?" Sam asked. "Salazar was surprised when he walked in."

"He called me and said he'd picked up chatter that Salazar was taking out a couple of cops," Bates said. "He thought they were ours."

"He must have been listening outside for awhile," Callen said. "Waited until the last minute to walk in."

"How's the lip, G?" Sam laughed. "I thought he was gonna choke you out. I told you, you should have hugged him goodbye."

"Kensi didn't say anything after she heard his voice," Callen said, after glaring at Sam.

"If Jensen keeps pushing, you won't be the only one with a busted lip," Sam said. "I hope that Marine was listening. That was a classic improv. Worked perfectly and now I can go home to my wife and kid."

"Leave Deeks in place, Lieutenant Bates," Hetty said. "And make sure he gets himself invited to that buy."

"That sounded an awful lot like an order, Miss Lange," Bates huffed.

"Take it anyway you like, Lieutenant," she answered. "But Deeks saved two lives tonight and we just might need him again. Thank him for us, will you?"

"You all miss him," Bates said quietly as he looked at each person in turn.

"Yes, we do," Hetty said.

"He's different now," Bates said. "Doesn't joke around as much. What happened? He told me once NCIS was where he thought he belonged. What changed? He won't tell me."

When no one said anything, Bates got up to leave, but paused near the door.

"I learned early on that he doesn't let people get too close," he offered. "But he did with all of you. Like I said, he was different when he came back. Wanted an undercover assignment right away. You won't tell me what happened either, but I can tell that one of you, or maybe all of you, wounded him in some way and that's tough to carry around when you're undercover."

"It was his decision to leave," Callen said, standing suddenly and sounding angry.

"We tried to get him to stay," Sam said sadly. "He thought going back to you was the best solution."

"It's complicated, Lieutenant," Hetty said.

"It's Kensi, isn't it?" Bates said with a smirk. "I knew something was going on there. Sorry it cost you a good man. A word of advice. He's been under as Max Gentry for a long time and he's real close to the edge. Don't let her anywhere near that meet. He might not be able to control his response if he sees her, and that could get him killed and all of you, too."

...

His fingers twitched as he sat bleary-eyed on the stack of boxed weapons. The op was finally close to the end and he felt anxious, his skin crawling with the need to be free of the person he'd become. He hadn't slept since the night he'd slammed Callen against the wall and almost choked him out. He'd gotten blind drunk afterwards, cursing himself and ranting until the guy in the room next door pounded on the wall and yelled for him to shut up. He had finally passed out and when he woke he'd been completely disoriented, confused as to why he was twisted up in sheets on a ratty bed in a seedy hotel room that smelled like body odor and rotten food. He had known then what Hetty had meant. It was cold out here. Cold and lonely. No one to care what happens to you, no one to joke with to ease the tension when things get bad, or to comfort you when your mind goes numb with guilt and fear. It was the future he'd sentenced himself to and the realization had made him crazy and he had methodically destroyed that cheap, grubby, little hotel room.

Now he needed to be back in character, back to being the hard ass Max Gentry, because he was close to the end, with nothing to look forward to when this assignment was over except more of the same. He ran his fidgeting fingers through his unwashed hair, and looked longingly at the loading dock, realizing just how desperate he was to see Callen and Sam one more time. He swallowed down the bitter taste in his mouth, and tried to distract himself when his mind wandered through his memories of the ops he had worked with them and with Kensi. He hurriedly pulled his weapon and checked it, noticing that his hands were trembling and it scared him. He wouldn't be here if they didn't need him, so he slammed his fist into the side of the nearest packing crate, welcoming the pain that cut through his anxiety, and making him focus as he struggled to let Max Gentry's strength take over. He needed to be that man now or he wouldn't make it through the day.

"Max, they're here," Salazar shouted. "I want you close by, man, in case something goes sideways."

"Don't get your dick all twisted, Ricky," Max called out as he sauntered over to him. "It's just a million dollar arms deal, amigo. What could possibly go wrong?"

"You're an asshole, Max," Ricky laughed.

"Yeah, but I'm your asshole," Max said as he slapped him on the back.

"Ricky likes you, Gentry. Says you trust these guys. That true?" Alejandro Munoz said as he joined them.

"As much as I trust anyone," Max answered.

"If they pull anything squirrelly, you take 'em down. Got it?" Munoz ordered.

"Never liked squirrels, boss," Max said. "Or raccoons either. Always poking their nose in where nobody wants 'em."

"You're a weird guy, Max," Munoz laughed.

Max almost smiled when he saw Sam's Challenger drive up, letting out a long breath as he readied himself, taking a few steps away from the two arms dealers. He wanted this to be over so badly, to be himself for even a short time, to surf and let the cold ocean wash away the bad taste of his days and weeks and months as Max Gentry. Maybe he would call Kensi and meet her for coffee, the thought pulling him off his game, his mind wandering when it should be focused. Shit! He was losing it right now and it was Callen who brought him back.

"You look like bad crap, Max," Yuri Kulish called out in what Deeks thought was a hilarious accent.

"Sounds like you need another lesson in manners, Yuri," he shot back coldly, watching the subtle shift to concern in Callen's eyes.

"Keep your private feud to yourselves, gentlemen," Munoz interjected. "Did you bring the money, Mr. Kulish?"

"You are very formal," Yuri said. "I like that. Now, please show Terrell the merchandise and then I will show you my money."

Munoz swept his arm out, inviting them over to the stack of crates containing the weapons, nodding at Max to open one. When he did, he saw the slight change in Sam's body language and the quick look from Callen and his hand moved toward his gun.

"I believe these are just the weapons we are looking for," Yuri said warmly as he pulled his gun and pointed it at Munoz.

"Federal agents," Sam said, his gun now pointing at Salazar.

"Sonofabitch," Salazar swore, looking quickly at Max, who had taken a few steps back, his face showing surprise before settling into resignation and then anger.

The tactical squad was already flooding into the warehouse, firing a few shots as they yelled out orders and moved swiftly to subdue the rest of the gang. Suddenly Kensi and another guy charged onto the loading dock as Max pulled his weapon. The shock of seeing her again made him hesitate, the weapon in his hand forgotten.

"Gun," Jensen shouted and brought his weapon up to fire.

Kensi spun and tackled her partner to the ground, knocking him off aim as he fired. Deeks dropped his gun and put his hands up, shocked to see Kensi hit the guy and yank the gun out of his hand. She was on her feet quickly, looking fiercely at him before she pulled his hands behind his back and cuffed him, while Callen did the same to Munoz.

"Why didn't you let your partner shoot him?" Salazar called out as he and Munoz were being led away by the tactical squad.

"He's wanted for questioning in an ongoing investigation," Kensi answered.

"You're a lucky sonofabitch, Max," Salazar yelled back as he was being pushed into a car. "Only you would have your sorry ass saved by a hot looking federal agent."

"She is hot," Max said, smiling softly at his old partner.

"Shut up," she snapped with a smile as she moved to uncuff him.

"Why the hell did you hit me?" Jensen asked loudly as he jerked her around and got in her face.

Max exploded in anger and grabbed him, shoving him violently up against the nearest packing crate and would have hit him if Sam hadn't stopped him. Callen got between the two men and then put his hand on Deeks' chest, a warning look in his eye.

"Let it go, Deeks," he said.

"This bastard tried to shoot me," he roared, losing whatever bit of self-control he had left. "Weren't you briefed, asshole? Did you forget there was an undercover cop at this little shindig? Or are you just a dumb, fuckin' hotshot with something to prove?"

He was almost hyperventilating by the time he was done shouting. Sam finally pulled him away and walked him over and sat him down on one of the box of weapons. The others, except for Jensen, followed them.

"Did you just call this a shindig, Deeks?" Sam laughed. "You been watching old TV shows while you've been undercover?"

"Nothing else to do when you can't sleep," he whispered, staring down at his trembling hands. "It's been a long couple of months."

"Deeks, it's been five months," Callen said.

"Seriously?" He said, surprised and shaken at the same time.

"Let us take you home, man," Sam said.

"No. No, no. I gotta report to Bates," he said, shaking his head. "Need to be debriefed, write up my report, you know, the usual stuff."

He knew he was babbling, but couldn't seem to stop himself. He felt it when they stepped away from him, and he was saddened that they would leave and he would be alone again, trying to shake the lasting effects Max Gentry always had on him. Kensi's soft hand on his cheek made him look up and he started to shake. She stepped between his legs and pulled him to her, wrapping him in her arms, holding him as he lost it, her hands stroking his hair. He felt embarrassed that she had to see him this way, to be this close to Max Gentry and all the darkness that part of him was filled with.

"God, I've missed you," he choked out.

"Then come home, Deeks," she whispered as she kissed the top of his head. "Come back with us. With me. We'll work it out. We need each other. We're better together."

"She'll probably end up killing Jensen if you don't," Callen said as he squeezed his shoulder.

"She called him a blithering idiot, Deeks," Sam chimed in.

"That's what she used to call me," Deeks said with a fleeting smile.

"But I said it with love," she said. "And you never blithered."

"Is that even a word?" Callen asked.

"It is, in Kensi language," Deeks quipped, feeling a calmness come over him as he bantered with his old team.

"She has her own language?" Sam asked as he helped Deeks to his feet.

"You all do," he said.

"Yeah, but we don't drawl when we talk," Callen said with a smirk.

"At least that's authentic," Deeks laughed. "That accent you were using for Yuri sounded like you got it off the Cartoon Network."

"How would you know? You learn Ukrainian while you been gone?" Sam added with a laugh, pushing Deeks ahead of him as they headed out.

The gentle teasing left him so nostalgic that he stopped, looking from one to the other, his eyes finally coming to rest on Kensi. He saw the tears shimmering in her eyes and he reached out and took her hand.

"Do you think Hetty would let me come back?" He asked quietly as he looked off into the distance, slightly afraid to hear the answer.

Callen handed him an earwig and he put it in, hearing Hetty's affirmation loud and clearly spoken and he dropped his head, finding it hard to believe his lonely nightmare was over. Sam placed his hands on his shoulders and Kensi's face broke into a brilliant smile as Callen handed him his gun. He had no sense of Max Gentry now, just a feeling of camaraderie and peace.

"Come on, partner," Kensi said. "You can buy me a donut on the way back to OSP. I'm starving."

"Didn't your new partner buy you breakfast?" He asked.

"His idea of breakfast is a whole wheat energy bar," she made a face and dramatically shivered.

"Dude. Really?" Deeks looked over at a glowering Jensen. "Come on, man, I know where they keep the cold packs for that black eye she gave you."

Jensen reluctantly followed as the team walked out.

...

...

The End

...


End file.
